There seems to be a trend going on in today’s world. A trend of falling into love and then wondering how to proceed after getting married.
Remember what the Bible has to say about marriage.
There are plenty of bible verses that talk about love and marriage and it’s definitely the best way to fall in love, Following the method that the Bible explains how to fall in love is definitely the way to keep the doors open for blessing in your relationship.
Which begs the question: What is it about our culture that pushes people into striving to meet ‘the one’, get married and have children all in such a short period of time? I understand if that is what you are planning but why not live a little before having children?!
Is this instant love ingrained into our DNA? I know one thing for sure. When you meet someone and you don’t plan to be anything more than friends, it takes the pressure off to perform to your highest in order to “land” the mate that you desire. The only one you need to please is God, and to do this you have to learn how to trust in Him.
Trusting God
The best lesson that i have learned is to trust God in all things. Remember that verse that says,
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me?
– Phillipians 4:13
Well this verse applies in more ways than most think it does. (I’m learning how many facets are tied to the verses that we commonly dismiss as only having one meaning).
Just today, I texted my wife about a song that just popped up into my head and it was mysteriously enough a song based on a Bible verse.
A joyful heart is good medicine,
but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
(Proverbs 17:22).
When I told her this, she immediately texted back how this is how we trust God.
It seems there are times that include revelation especially when you are listening to the voice of God. After all, He talks to us ALL THE TIME!
7 Steps To A Happy Marriage
If you find that you have arguments in your relationship but never any resolution to those disagreements, then you may need to take a step back and look at why this is happening. I know some people find it harder to analyze things. However, if it makes you a better person then it’s worth it.
I remember having a few relationships that were very degrading on my physical body and because I wasn’t in line with what God wanted for my life, there were open door(s) to the kingdom of darkness. Satan loves to pound, hammer, cut, and any other word used to defile you. His biggest weapon is your mind. If he can get control of your mind, then he’s got you and you won’t see the truth.
Step 1: I encourage you to take your first step of faith by renouncing any force of Satan’s kingdom by simply saying you no longer want (insert source, eg., sin, anxiety) and command that thing to leave you and your family alone in the name of Jesus.
I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you.
– Luke 10:19
Step 2: Always be aware of how you are speaking to your mate, family member, friends, and in general. Know that your words are the key to what’s in your heart, mind and soul. So practice speaking positive, uplifting words to everyone – especially to yourself!
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.
– Proverbs 18:21
Step 3: Make sure your mate is on board with you in your desire to have a happy relationship. The biggest struggle that is tearing apart marriages is the unequally yoked relationship. This includes having sexual relations before marriage, having a relationship with someone that is not of the same belief system as you. The most common is a professing christian aligning himself/herself with a mate who is ‘of the world’.
Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?
– 2 Corinthians 6:14
Step 4: Something that my wife and I are always doing to each other that I think would cure many arguments in this world is speaking uplifting comments to each other.
We will constantly tell each other how amazing the other one is. It’s not meant to be delivered in a cheesy way but rather to build up my wife. She has told me several times that my encouragement has come at a time that she needed to hear it the most.
Can you imagine if this was the reverse situation where I would lash out at her, cutting her down exponentially?! Not a chance in the world on my time with her! We are creations that are not meant to be gnashing at each other. This is where diseases can sneak in and destroy.
Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.
– 2 Corinthians 13:11
Step 5: Stay in communication throughout the day. I know it may be hard to do if your job requires you to leave your cell phone at the door or you just are too busy, but you are allowed to have two 15 minute breaks and at least a 30 minute lunch time. So use 5 minutes and text or call to encourage. Leave a voice mail that you’re loved one will get after work or on a break/lunch.
But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.
– Hebrews 3:13
Step 6: Take him/her out on dates. So many marriages fail because the ‘hunt’ or ‘chase’ is supposedly over. Make sure you are not just in a quest to be married for married sake. Marriage is a LIFE LONG commitment which is to say you are making a covenant with your mate before YHWH (The creator of everything we know to be).
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.
-Hebrews 13:4
This verse speaks of immorality, but it’s more of a warning to make sure that your partner knows how special they are to you by using your words and by treating them to special things that can only come from you!
Step 7: Before bed, be sure to never have anything hanging over your head such as an argument from the day. In other words, let your head hit the pillow in peace. You’ll see much better rest during the night with less stress and worry over the outcome of your argument.
In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun godown while you are still angry,
– Ephesians 4:26
Love is not meant to be a complicated thing for us to perform. It’s an action that happens each and every day. So be your best when you are out doing life. Remember that we all have personalities that need to accentuate each other. Sometimes they do not mesh well but that’s where grace and mercy kick in and fill that gap.
Love. Encourage. Repeat.
